The Armadillo vs. Brett Favre

In the left corner, from Mississippi. Weighing in at 120lbs and 60in long. He enjoys insects, grubs, invertebrates and walks on busy highways....The Armadillo!

In the right corner, also from Mississippi. Weighing in at 220lbs and is 6'2" tall. He enjoys being indecisive, a moth for attention, calling Armadillos "SOB's", having shotguns at the ready position and making those walks on the highway that Armadillos enjoy, short ones....It's Brett Favre!

Like all of you, I'm already getting sick of turning on the television and seeing the piece of shit Favre on the set. Unfortunately, the likes of ESPN just continue to show highlights of Favre and his saggy, old man ass throwing passes. I know what you're thinking..."Dave looks at Favre's ass?!" Honestly though, how can you not notice that thing?! It sags like the chin of Terry Schiavo at waketime! (I'm going to hell.)

At any rate, I'm driving to work and hear on the radio of this article in a Minnesota newspaper and said to the radio "Who gives a shit what Favre does on his ranch and what he eats for dinner?" However, after hearing the story and reading the article, I have to admit, I did find it amusing. Ultimately, like mentioned in the article, the mental midget, Favre, will likely have that damn Armadillo in his head all season! At least now he has something else to pawn off his mistakes on.

http://www.twincities.com/sports/ci_15626821?nclick_check=1

Result: The mental midget, Favre, loses again. Looks like the Saggy Bottom Boy didn't spend much time on the shooting range during his stay at the 400 acre ranch.

Here's to another great football season boys!

July 1st, 2010

What could be...

More Celeb Look-A-Likes!

Well, it's that time again! Time to sit back and reflect on some more celeb look-a-likes! Enjoy!



Lloyd & K



Drago & Drago



Bugs & B.O.B.



Haus & Madden



And last, but certainly not least...Dirk & Dirk!

What's Wang With Turning 30?!

Well, well, well...we finally meet. The Big 3-0 that I've heard so much about! That got me thinking. "What other "notable" birthdays are March 31, 1980?" Along with the likes of Pavel Bure, Mr. Cotter from the tv show 'Welcome Back Cotter", Ewan McGregor, and some hot chick named Vanessa Mambi is twiddle dee up there! Numbnuts, Chien Ming Wang was born on the same day and year as yours truly! I know I do some wacky things sometimes, but if turnin' 30 has this affect on me...I'm scared to see what the Big 4-0 will do to me!

By the way, more "Celeb Look-a-Likes" coming soon!

Chicken Dancin'

Deron must be in the dancin' mode after watching the first weekend of the NCAA tournament! Definitely something the majority of us would be doing during some down time!

"What's That?!...Red Balls?!"

Oh Ron, although you seem like a good guy and the Rangers support you...you've left me with no choice but to point out the finer things in life...Comedy! I guess if I looked like Dave Chapelle as the Crackhead, I might think about partaking in the nose candy as well! I bet it'll be difficult to stand on a baseball field, look at those chalk lines and not think back to the "one time" you went for a joy ride. Not to mention you used amphetamines or Red Balls (It's gives you wings!) back when you were a player.

Why is it every baseball team I like is a joke? The Cubs are continually the laughing stock of the league with their 100+ year without a WS and now, if the Rangers keep this guy, my second favorite team will be the punchline for many a joke! Bring on Clint Hurdle, let's watch the Cubs put a Toyota sign up in left field and let's get the 2010 MLB season started!

"I'm rich bitch!"

Back at ISU, K was our intramural basketball coach and a damn good one at that! (For God sake, he memorized our social security #'s in case any of us got injured...came in handy when Hutch got hurt! Ha!) At any rate, I was thinking, what if B was our coach? Instead of memorizing soc #'s and other things that would be helpful for our squad, I think he would practice dance moves! In the end, him on the sidelines would look something like this!!!

Clammy Sosa

With baseball season around the corner I figured this post would be appropriate. We've all been to numerous Cubs games (even if you aren't a Cubs fan) and of all the games I've been to, I've never witnessed Clammy Sosa! I don't know what Clammy is up to these days, but whatever he's doing, I hope it doesn't involve turning himself white like Sammy did! Enjoy.

[Thanks K!]

A Total Airball

Ever listen to a sports broadcast and say to yourself..."Self, you can do a better job than this ass munch!" I have. Many a time. With that in mind, I found this doozy of a video that best illustrates some of the crap we have to put up with on sports broadcasts these days! Enjoy.

Jump Whale, Jump....Good Boy!

Really?! People are made at this whale for doing what he's on this planet to do...kill! For God sake, it's a "Killer Whale". Seriously, this is as asinine as the story I heard the other day where a 4 year old, pre-schooler, was reamed because his mother packed him a plastic knife in his lunch. No knives for eating, yet "sporks", which are sharper and could do a hell of a lot more damage are allowed for kiddies to chow down their fruits, veggies and puddin'. It doesn't make sense. We take away the plastic knives, the terrorists have won. Anyways, I've gotten off track....back to Shamu up there. We've all seen those videos where the whale goes to the bottom of the tank, shoots up and sends the moron flying! Could you imagine seeing this sight?! I sure don't know how this person was eaten by this whale, nor do I give a shit, but it sure would've been a thrilling way to go if this was the case. Like my boy Frank Dreben says in Naked Gun. "Gettin' caught in the gears of a combine...that's the way I wanna go!" Moral of this post, don't piss in the Cheerios of a Killer Whale.

Classic B Right Here!

With B being in Vegas, livin' the good life and laughing it up, I couldn't help but think of that image of him in that super-imposed video when we were all down there! That being said, although these two pics aren't ones B will be posting on his mantle anytime in the near future...they are more than worthy of being posted here! During the college years we'd see on tv (and heard on Big L songs) people wearing shirts with pictures of their friends, who are locked up, on them. Almost all shirts would have a picture of the friend and "Free (their name)" next to it. Who does that?! (Don't answer that!) At any rate, K and I decided to make t-shirts, mocking this act, while including B. His infamous "Two finga and a thumb" pose and phrase, which he breaks out in nearly every picture and needs to get copyrighted, was a must to include. Yet another pic/memory that has had me laughing in my office during my lunch break! Enjoy!

Throwback! (This is for you Haw!)

"I love to see you pee on us tonight!" Ha ha ha!

Witnesses?

Although the possibility of trades being finalized throughout the week are likely, the NBA trade deadline has come and gone. As we have dealt with the onslaught of steroid talk in baseball, Brett Favre's indecisiveness and are now in the middle of organized chaos with Tiger Woods, none may be as big of a story as what we are about to encounter at NBA season's end. Could this sight be a possibility?! After last night's performance, the people of Cleveland (all of Ohio for that matter) are praying to God they don't have to be "witnesses" to this uniform change!

Raptor Has Good "Taste"

Classic Ian Eagle!



(Thanks K!)

Weekend Kickoff

Boogity, Boogity, Boogity...it's time for some racing boys! In the words of B, this might be the weekend to end all weekends! The Superbowl of Racing + NBA All-Star Weekend + Winter Olympics (for those who care) x loads of alcohol = looking like this guy! Wish I was sitting in the "Geee-rage!" My ears will be on all weekend in case anyone's got a copy! 10-4 good buddies!

Facebook Files

As I was looking through Facebook pictures to come up with ideas for the "Celeb Look-A-Like" post, I found myself cracking up at what we have in our photo albums! For that reason, I bring you "Facebook Files". Occasionally, I will share pictures I find amusing via our photo albums that hopefully will provide a laugh or two for those of you who check this page! My inaugural photo comes from that of our good buddy Haus! This picture made me laugh out loud in my office! Just look at that pic for a moment and think about what caption you would add to it! When I saw it, I immediately thought of her saying "Please, don't eat me!!!" Seriously, the poor girl's body language just screams "Help!" Plus look at Haus' expression! Ha ha ha!

Celeb Look-A-Likes

Those of you who frequent the pages of Facebook have probably noticed there are a lot of people who have changed their profile pics to those of famous people. This occurrence has inspired this here post! Below are just some of the possibilities! Enjoy!


Brotha & Carson Palmer


Rik Smits & Parliament


Woody & Coad


Sarge & Dwight from The Office


Marti & Steve-O


And last, but certainly not least...Rodney & B

Ha ha ha!

Big Ten & The Recruiting Class of Illinois

Marti's post regarding Illinois' recruiting class influenced me to include some CFB talk on the site. Since Marti asked Wac what he thought about the performance of Zook and the Illini, I decided to show everyone details of the Big 10 along with Scouts Inc. info on how U of I handled their off-season. (Click on pic for larger view)

Illinois Fighting Illini

The class

Recruits: 20 (19 high school seniors, one junior college player, three players enrolled early)

Top prospects: Chandler Whitmer gives the Illini another option at quarterback as the team tries to replace four-year starter Juice Williams. Wide receiver Darius Millines, a last-minute addition, bolsters the receiving corps, while safety Earnest Thomas will get a chance to play right away in the secondary.

Sleepers: Linebacker Mark Wilson should help a group that regains the services of Martez Wilson this fall. Arguably the team's most intriguing prospect is junior college safety Trulon Henry, the older brother of former Illinois star Arrelious Benn. Henry served nearly five years in prison for armed robbery but has turned his life around and should help in the secondary.

Needs met: Time will tell if Illinois addressed its need in the secondary, as players like Henry and Thomas need to contribute right away. Losing safety Corey Cooper to Nebraska hurt, but embattled head coach Ron Zook and his new-look staff closed recruiting well with players like Millines and Brandon Denmark. The wide receiver position should once again be strong this season.

Analysis: The class isn't drawing high marks, which puts pressure on the coaching staff to develop players for a make-or-break 2010 season. Illinois held onto Whitmer, which could be key, and finished strong after the class looked bleak in early December. If the defensive recruits can come in and contribute this fall, Illinois might be able to stabilize itself on that side of the ball.

Scouts Inc. grade: C-minus

What Ron Zook said:

* "The strengths are the linemen and obviously the receivers. If you go back and you look at who we lost, we filled in the positions. ... Hopefully, we're getting to a point where we don't have to continually count on freshmen playing. Although I think there will be some guys [in this class] who have a pretty good opportunity to do that."
* "Darius [Millines] is an unbelievable athlete, he can run like a deer. He probably surprised a lot of people down there because he committed early to West Virginia. Doc Holliday really had a great relationship with him, and he's at Marshall now. I think he has a chance to be a special guy. Jarred Fayson said, 'Coach, he's one of us.' That makes me feel good."
* "There's been a lot of negative recruiting going on, but that's part of it. People don't have to say anything. They just take the articles that are written and show them. You're defending your manhood, you're defending everything about you every time you go out there."

The Odd Couple

Watch out B...his ears are ready to attack! Although the highlight of this pic is the fact B got his picture taken with Ears...I mean, Farmar. There are other notables.

1. B rockin' a Bulls jersey while hanging out with the Lakers and their coaching staff!

2. The Hammer standing off in the background! (And we all know ladies love the Hammer too!)

3. The comment Farmar made to B just before the picture regarding him sportin' a Derrick Rose jersey!

4. B checkin' out the old biddies during a time-out performance!

5. Lebron hurdling The Hammer during the game as he was going for a loose ball!

6. And the mother of them all...B passing up an opportunity to sit directly behind the bench and instead sat by himself, 20 rows deep in the stands! Ha!

"Ladies Love Fernandez"

Most NBA players like to head out after a tough road game to sample whatever local strange might be available. The Portland Trail Blazers Rudy Fernandez, playing with his team in Dallas last night, didn’t have to wait that long.

During a timeout with 41 seconds left in regulation, two women walked onto the court and into the Trail Blazers huddle. One woman wrapped her arms around the waist of Blazers guard Rudy Fernandez from behind. Fernandez, who was not in the game but focused on the plays being diagrammed by coach Nate McMillan, was stunned.

The women were ushered away from the huddle, and amazingly allowed to return to their courtside seats under the basket and watch the remainder of the game, which went to overtime. –The Oregonian, via Inside Hoops.

How could security pass up a chance to tackle a couple of intoxicated women? The safety of the players on the court is paramount. Those women should have been ushered to a private area and searched thoroughly for weapons. Uh, for security purposes. We can’t be too careful, especially when we’re this horny and drunk with power.

[www.withleather.com] (Thanks Sarge!)

Bud Adams Classic Moment

In lieu of Rex Ryan showing the people of Miami his "appreciation" at the MMA event in South Florida, I thought it only be appropriate to look back on one of the funnier moments of the 2009-2010 NFL season.

Beginning of the Game



End of the Game

Milestone

It's too bad they couldn't pull this win out for Phil on the same night, but in case you missed it...

My Idea

Although I believe my idea behind this website is a good one and would still love to find a convenient way to make it happen. However, I don't think this site will serve the purpose I was looking for. Anyone can post on the site, but only as comments to posts I submit. That wasn't how I envisioned it. My idea was to create a site (or forum) that allows us to take our fantasy message board and expand it to our larger friend base. There's so many classic things posted on our message boards on a daily basis...just think how great it would be to have that available to guys that aren't in any of our leagues. At any rate, I'm gonna continue to use this site as my own web page. Hopefully, Yahoo! comes out with a page specifically designed for what I'm looking for. The originator will probably make millions of dollars for the idea...talk about the ultimate "Why Live Life" moment for me if that happens!

The Proposal

As I was posting a message on my Fantasy Basketball league homepage, I realized it's just not the same without the smack talk, opinions and of course the infamous drunken late night posts! That being said, I just sent out an email to friends I have in my contact list referring to my idea for creating this page. My intent is not to use this site as a Twitter account, but yet for a forum to post messages similiar to the ones we submit on a daily basis in our respective fantasy leagues. I've had a lot of ideas in the past and not all have been great ones, but I feel like it's worth a shot. Some of my friends may think I'm on to something and others may think I'm just on something! At any rate, the idea has been thrown out there.

(For those of you from our previous Fantasy Football leagues, this is my way of bringing back the "Chronicles" some of you used to ask me about!)

The Rookie

Well, it's official. I'm entering my rookie year as part of the blogging world. I don't think I'm gonna be setting any records for number of "followers", but I'm willing to give this a shot. Due to my vast knowledge and skill in the culinary world, I won't be posting any recipes and/or secret tips on this blog, but I will be posting many comments and opinions revolving around the wide world of sports. And what better way to start than to submit this post as Kobe hits a game winning shot against the Celtics. All that needs to be said is...."KOBE!" Let the good times roll!